


Christmas Vacation III: I wish for You

by etitsangst



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, BaekYeol - Freeform, Baekhyun - Freeform, ChanBaek - Freeform, Chanyeol - Freeform, Comfort/Angst, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Mention of alcohol, Mild Smut, Smut, angst angst and more angst, side!kaisoo, slight!cockwarming, this sucks so read at your own risk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-19
Updated: 2019-12-19
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:01:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21863398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/etitsangst/pseuds/etitsangst
Summary: I wish for you before the stars every night. I forget the stars are dead.and so does my wish.Or where Baekhyun ended up losing more than he thought he will be once he was done.
Comments: 7
Kudos: 38





	Christmas Vacation III: I wish for You

**Author's Note:**

> Part III for the Christmas Series
> 
> Disclaimer: I tried making this into a stand alone fic as much as I can but if you're still confused over some things, I suggest you read the first or second part of Christmas Vacation series. Thank you.

Baekhyun could hear it. 

The sound of the door opened and closing paired with the obnoxious laughter belonged to Jongin.

He was in a Santa costume, Chanyeol's length deep inside him, quickening his movement on top of the younger man despite the risk of getting caught by Kyungsoo any seconds soon.

_Let him see me._

That was the only thought crossing Baekhyun's mind as he rode Chanyeol faster, purposely moaning out loud.

_I want nothing else but him seeing me._

Chanyeol grunted when he felt Baekhyun clenching around him, pulling the man down, kissing him vigorously, despite being so out of it, he heard the sounds of Kyungsoo hollering him and Baekhyun. 

He tried warning Baekhyun. He really did.

Tried pushing the older man off of him, tried telling him they might get caught but Baekhyun just kept on hammering himself on Chanyeol and just like that he ended up filling Baekhyun to the brim as the door burst open, Baekhyun clenching around him when he himself came with a loud grunt.

+++

9 Years

That was how long Baekhyun had spend his christmas alone. Last time he ever felt complete. This year wasn't an exception. Despite Jongdae calling him and asking Baekhyun to be with him and his whole families this christmas, like he always asked Baekhyun to, Baekhyun couldn't say yes to that. Mainly because he didn't want to ruin Jongdae christmas with his family. After what happened 9 years ago, Baekhyun believed he had the ability to ruin someone's christmas when he was with them. No matter how many times Jongdae insisted Baekhyun was wrong, Baekhyun's mind just wouldn't listened which always ended with Baekhyun being alone everytime it was christmas. 

It pained Baekhyun, Jongdae knew it, Baekhyun knew it, but he could not just let whatever happened go. He can't wake up one day and feel at ease knowing perfectly well what he had done. He deserved the pain as for he had hurt more people than he could imagined in just one night alone. It started when he had an intercourse with his step-son, which logically thinking, Chanyeol wasn't his step-son anymore since he did have a divorce with Kyungsoo. Chanyeol being Chanyeol insisted that he was still Baekhyun's step-son no matter what happen between Baekhyun and Kyungsoo. It was during christmas holiday when Baekhyun and Chanyeol did more than what they should, Kyungsoo being oblivious to what had happen and Baekhyun only thoughts during those time was to take on a revenge at Kyungsoo for cheating on him with Jongin, Kyungsoo ex which was now his husband, as far as what Jongdae told him.

Baekhyun had to admit he did sincerely fell for Chanyeol as he watched the boy grew day by day before his own eyes. It was more than just a normal family affection. He knew it, which was why he never minded much when Kyungsoo asked for a divorce once Baekhyun found out about Kyungsoo cheating on him. The divorce did not not hurt Baekhyun, it did, more than Baekhyun could imagine. Baekhyun didn't know why he was hurt, either he felt as though he wasn't enough for Kyungsoo or simply because he felt betray, as though as the years he spend loving Kyungsoo had gone to waste. So when Chanyeol had his cock deep in Baekhyun in their car on the way to the vacation house, he make up his mind to hurt Kyungsoo as much as Kyungsoo had hurt him. Knowing Kyungsoo, the only way to break him apart was through Chanyeol because Chanyeol was his precious son that Kyungsoo love more than anything. It was risky, hurting Kyungsoo might also hurt Chanyeol. Baekhyun knew it, since he had long known Chanyeol's love towards him since day one. Chanyeol might eventually got hurt once he found out Baekhyun's main motive but as for the time being, Baekhyun just turned a blind eye towards Chanyeol's feelings for him. 

Baekhyun didn't realised the only one that would ended up being miserable will be him. Or he did realise it, he just ignored the nagging voices in his head and went along with whatever Chanyeol wanted Baekhyun to do with his body.

Baekhyun barely remembered what had happened that night, it all happened way too fast for him to memorized every details on that night. All he could decipher was Kyungsoo's hysterical shriek when he opened the room's door, witnessing Chanyeol cumming inside Baekhyun who kept on riding him despite hearing Kyungsoo. Chanyeol pushed Baekhyun away frantically, trying to cover both of them as much as he could, head still high from earlier event, mouth stuttering a weak _papa_ when he looked at the shock expression on Kyungsoo face. Jongin sighing behind Kyungsoo, shaking his head. Jongin had warned Baekhyun about this, he did, when he heard the moan as soon as he entered the house, Jongin didn't have enough time to stop Kyungsoo from running to the source of those voices.

\-----------

_-Flashback-_

"Pa, I can explain" Chanyeol, stuttered out eyes bulging when he saw Kyungsoo stumped his way towards Baekhyun, a loud slapping sound echoed through the room.

Baekhyun chuckled, holding his throbbing cheeks, ignoring how his heart was hurting for what was about to be unfold.

Jongin rushed to Kyungsoo's side, attempting to calm the pregnant man, afraid he will get stress enough to hurt himself and the baby he was carrying.

"How could you do this to me," Kyungsoo wailed, tears dropping continuosly seeing the state Baekhyun was in, heart aching when all he got was a sly smirk from Baekhyun. 

Jongin saw how Baekhyun's eyes turn from those playful stares he always had to a darker, empty one. The one that Jongin had never seen before. Not even when Kyungsoo announced him and Jongin were dating. Not even when he watched baekhyun staring at his ex husband signing the divorce paper. The stares he had was dark, almost as if baekhyun's soul wasn't visibly there, as if he was not Baekhyun. It scared Jongin, as much as Jongin didn't want to admit, he felt sorry for Baekhyun, knowing perfectly well how much he and Kyungsoo had hurt Baekhyun these past years.

"Papa please, it isn't Baekhyun's fault," Chanyeol rose from the bed, pulling Baekhyun next to him, holding his hand tightly. Chanyeol didn't noticed how bad Baekhyun's hands were shaking, too engrossed in making his own papa calm down for he had never seen Kyungsoo as stress as this.

"Chanyeol, what are you even thinking? Did he trick you into this? Did he-"

"No! Never! No-"

"T-then why, I-"

"We love each other. I love dad and dad loves me too. It's not the normal family affection. It's real, like the way you love Jongin and Jongin loves you. It's mutual between us, no one's forcing anyone. I-I really do hope you'll accept us," Chanyeol confidently blurted out, bitting his own lips nervously as he looked at Kyungsoo

Kyungsoo head was spinning from that one statement alone. Baekhyun's breath hitched, looking up at Chanyeol, the latter stared down at Kyungsoo, a clear distress look on his face watching how his papa almost fell down on his knees. Luckily Jongin was beside him to aid Kyungsoo from falling down completely. 

Baekhyun could not take it. He hated the scene in front of him. Hated how he saw Chanyeol looking miserable whilst staring at a sobbing Kyungsoo. 

A loud laugh broke out of his mouth, making everyone turn towards Baekhyun. Baekhyun chuckled when he gained everyone's attention, detaching his hand from Chanyeol, Chanyeol look at their detached hand in confusion.

"What on earth are you saying Chanyeol? When did I ever say I love you like that?" Baekhyun giggled, dismissing the breaking parts of his heart the more he spoke.

"This is just a game, son. There's no feelings attached. I was just trying to get back at your pops. I was thinking hard on ways to take a revenge but you offered yourself so I just go along with it. Thank you though, it was fun nevertheless but this is nothing more than just sex," Baekhyun was trying hard, so hard not to tear up when he saw how Chanyeol's face fall. An expression Chanyeol always had on whenever he told Baekhyun he loved him more than just a dad only to have Baekhyun dismissed him.

Only this time, the expression was much more worse.

"You're lying," Chanyeol shook his head, eyes searching for any trace of lies inside Baekhyun's eyes but all he could see was a dark, empty eyes.

"You can't really thought this was all real right? Damn. You're as dumb as your papa, the only difference was he wasn't dumb enough to cheat behind me," 

"That's enough Baekhyun," Jongin's voice boom throughout the room for the first time ever.

"I-Is that it? You're still mad over that?" Kyungsoo voiced out, looking up at Baekhyun from his kneeling position he had earlier on when Baekhyun started talking.

"Still? You think I can just get over that? Just like that?" Baekhyun saw red, he knew by now there will be nothing can stop him. He was tired of acting like he didn't care and nothing happened every single time Kyungsoo asked him to go out on holidays together with them. He was tired of making an effort and being told he was making none. He was just exhausted of complying to Chanyeol's request to follow whatever his beloved papa wants. 

He was just too tired of everyone acting as if Baekhyun was fine getting alone with people who betrayed his own trust, as if Baekhyun didn't need to time for himself to heal as well. As if Baekhyun wasn't hurting, when he was. He was hurting so bad and everyone around acted as if he was just an angry man who couldn't keep his chill.

"Well what more do you want?! I've tried everything to mend what happened between us. Everything I could think of to make whatever between us go back to normal. Why are you doing this? And using Chanyeol? How could you?" Jongin rubbed Kyungsoo's back, worrying over how the smaller was slowly losing his mind.

"I want nothing! You think everything will get back to normal just because you always have me around? Well you're wrong. I'm tired of everyone in this house acting as if I don't have feelings. Am I supposed to sit and just look at how you being love by someone else? Is that it? Do you know how hard it was trying to act as if none of this affect me. You had no idea how much I've suffer with all of you. I just want you to feel what I've been feeling this whole time and what's better than sleeping with your son to break you?" 

It all happened too fast, Baekhyun could hear a loud ringing in his left ear when he felt the impact. He not so slowly brought his trembling hands to his left cheeks, hissing when he felt it throbbing, realising he accidentally bit his lips when he received the slap. 

"Leave," no pity whatsoever. Chanyeol's voice only filled with remorse, hatred and probably dissapointment as well.

Baekhyun stared at Chanyeol, the one who just slapped him, pieces of broken heart were now shattered to crumbs, surely wasn't able to glue nor attached them all back together. Chanyeol, the one who vowed to never hurt Baekhyun broke the vow on his won and Baekhyun had no one to blame but himself. Baekhyun's own glassy eyes searching through Chanyeol's for some comfort, at least a little bit for he really need the taller right now but to no avail, Chanyeol just went to pick up crying Kyungsoo from the floor.

"That's it? That's all you want me to do? Leave? It's dark outside I ca-,"

"Just fuck off Baekhyun. You said so yourself everyone here hurt you then just leave. Do whatever the fuck you want. I don't care anymore. You're the worst person I've ever know and Idon't want to see you ever again. I can't believe I have love you for all these times only for you to throw it all just like that?" 

_Love me, please just keep on loving me_.

That was what Baekhyun had wanted to say but he was too shocked, too scared to utter a single word.

"I've been there for you since day one. Fuck Baek, I chase you around like a puppy for years Baekhyun, years and just when I thought you've finally, finally love me for me... this.. I can't even.. You know what's worse? No matter how much I want to hate you for doing this to me, I can't. I'm still in love with you even till now, I hate you so much for making me feel this way. I never ever want to see you again," Chanyeol broke into a harsh sobbed, wailing in Kyungsoo lap, as Kyungsoo held him.

It was fast, but Baekhyun felt the night went by slowly. Jongin ended up driving Baekhyun to Jongdae's place that night. Both didn't utter a single word, Jongin did try to talk but Baekhyun just stared at the window, putting on his earphone, Chanyeol's playlist being played on his phone as he tried to not break into tears in front of Jongin. When Jongdae saw a crook smiled Baekhyun at his front door at 5am, he wasted no time pulling Baekhyun in his embrace, guiding the shaking guy into the house after noticing how Jongin's car drove away upon seeing Baekhyun safely entered the house. All it took was for Jongdae to tilt Baekhyun's head up, making the latter finally broke down to a painful cry. 

And if Jongin heard the wailed on his way of dropping Baekhyun's bag that was left on his car in front of Jongdae's porch, no one needed to know.

Except for Jongdae.

\-------

_You're heading there again?_

Baekhyun read Jongdae's text, replying a short yea. 

_You have to stop torturing yourself like this Baek-_

Baekhyun left Jongdae on read, refused to read the whole text he got, knowing perfectly too well what Jongdae told him. He started his car, turning on his radio, putting on his playlist. Like always, a familiar song, Still, filled the car as Baekhyun drove down the road he memorized by heart.

_It's been a long time since we last spoke_

_I still wonder what you’re up to after all that shit we've been through_

_and I've been spending a lot of time drinking and smoking_

_Hoping to subdue the thought of you in my head_

The first two years for Baekhyun was hard, he tried calling Chanyeol, trying to reach the younger, in hope Chanyeol would forgive him for what he had done. Baekhyun had also picked up a habit of eating sleeping pills and drinking alcohol. He could barely consumed half of the bottle the first time he tried it since he was never a good drinker but as time past by, he spent more and more time turning to alcohol. It was when he got hit by a car when he was drunk one time, he decided to stop. The devastated look on Jongdae's face the moment Baekhyun woke up on the hospital bed broke him. Baekhyun realised he didn't want to lose the only person left who cares about him.

_So if you're out there somewhere_

_and if you still even care_

_Possibly still questioning, "what is he doin'"_

Jongin did called Baekhyun a few times, Baekhyun refused to answer the first several calls but Jongdae accidentally picked up the call whilst Baekhyun was showering which result in Baekhyun having an involuntarily awkward conversation with Jongin. Baekhyun was afraid to ask, but Jongin acknowledged how Baekhyun must've been questioning about Chanyeol. So Jongin ended up telling how Chanyeol had been doing, Baekhyun had to cut off the call right away because he found himself choked on his own sob. _He was doing fine. Much better than last year, I guess. He kept himself busy with college and all. He was a different person now, much more happier. We was worried about him, but he open himself up more than before. I hope you're the same too._

_I've been tryna find a way to numb all this pain_

_Since you've been away I don't wanna feel anymore_

_And there's probably people telling you that I’m doing fine_

_Just taking my time_

_Although it appears that I’m strong_

_It still hurts_

After the phone call, Baekhyun tried to live more happily, he did. He really did, even though he had his breaking points at times, he was glad Jongdae was there to held him up. Baekhyun did feel bad for always burdening Jongdae with his pathetic life but Jongdae was always there, telling him he was doing fine and there was nothing to worry about.

_There's been a lot of nights when I feel alone_

_Needed someone to talk to ’cause I just need to get through_

_And I've been spending a lot of money on things that I don't need_

_Hoping that I'll feel new_

_But I can’t get you out my head_

Baekhyun did not need to lie to Jongdae and told him how he was okay when he wasn't. Jongdae knew him way too well. There were times where Jongdae couldn't accompany Baekhyun at nights as he had to spend time with his boyfriend as well, which Baekhyun didn't mind at all. It was just when Baekhyun turned on the television and see certain faces on screen, he ended breaking down and turning to alcohol. But not as much as he used to consumed, just enough to make him forget Chanyeol and all the mistakes he had done.

_Although it appears that I'm strong_

_It still hurts_

Baekhyun breathed in the cold air as soon as he got out of his car, smiling sadly at the paveway leading to the house. The very house that he was chased out from. Kyungsoo sold the house the next week of the chaotic event, Jondae found out about it and bought the house, for he knew how much the house meant to Baekhyun because Baekhyun was the one who gifted the vacation house to Kyungsoo when they got married. Baekhyun was too into his sadness to react when Jongdae told him the news. When Baekhyun was sober enough, he bought the house from Jongdae, the latter having telling him not to pay but Baekhyun insisted. Ever since then, Baekhyun spent every christmas going to the house.

Jongdae didn't understand why Baekhyun would go to the place that hurt him. Baekhyun knew though. He knew he deserved the pain after what he did. Going to the house would be Baekhyun's own way of punishing himself, no matter how much Jongdae was against it, he couldn't stopped Baekhyun from what he wanted. Jongdae hoped Baekhyun was doing just fine.

Baekhyun relaxed himself in the jacuzi tub as soon he was done unpacking. He got rid of the familiar bitter feeling, as his memories went back to 9 years ago. He often found himself staring up at the night sky, that was once a wooden ceiling, but now he got rid of the ugly wooden ceiling and replaced it with a large transparent ceiling that allowed him to see the skies above. Baekhyun didn't want to admit it but deep down he knew he changed the ceiling because Chanyeol loved stars. Deep down, he still hope Chanyeol would be here and accompany him in the tub like they used to do whilst staring at the night skies together. Baekhyun found himself wishing for the same thing, every single time he was there. 

_I hope Chanyeol is here. I want Chanyeol._

Of course it was silly. Chanyeol told him all the stars were dead, thus wishing upon them meant that the wishes were dead as well. Baekhyun couldn't careless. He just wanted Chanyeol. Baekhyun sinked himself deeper into the tub, ignoring how the warm water hurting his soft face. He hid himself fully into the tub as if afraid someone would find him crying his eyes out at the time. He got out of the jacuzi after hours of sitting in it, doing absolutely nothing. He shivered a bit when he walked into the house as the cold night breeze touched his exposed skin. baekhyun dressed himself to bed, plopping himself on the soft bed once he was done, the same bed he rode Chanyeol. He sighed, biting his lips, fingers hovering over the search button on google.

He put in Loey Park in the search bar, seeing a fan posted about Chanyeol's newest insta post of christmas tree and gifts under the tree as well as a cute selfie of him wearing a rudolph headband, probably a gift from his colleague or lover, Baekhyun didn't want to know. Chanyeol had block Baekhyun on every social media he had after what happened so Baekhyun only source of informations of Chanyeol was the tabloids or a certain fan acc that was on twitter. Baekhyun felt ridiculous and slightly funny when doing so, it used to be Chanyeol who wanting to keep Baekhyun's life updated but now it was vice versa. A few years after he graduated, Chanyeol managed to build his own recording company, making himself a well-known young producer, composer and recruiter of so many talented artists under his label. He himself sang as well, but it was a very very rare occasion. Baekhyun was glad Chanyeol managed to achieve his own dream. 

"Merry Christmas," Baekhyun smiled sadly at the selfie, as if replying to Chanyeol's own caption on his post.

\--

Chanyeol furrowed his eyebrows, hands clutching tightly on the strap over his shoulder. He eyed the car parked in front of his own at the driveway. Sighing nervously, he walked towards the dimmed house, the only source of light that could be seen from the outside was the living room's. He fiddled inside his jacket, taking out the key that was given to him weeks ago, contemplating whether he should do it. 

"Fuck it," Chanyeol whispered under his breath, slowly inserting the key, he was hit with the familiar strawberry candle scent inside the house the moment he walked in. 

Chanyeol locked the door behind him, trying not to make any sound not wanting to wake the person sleeping in the room. He trudged his way towards the familiar room, following the scent coming out of the room. He slowly push the door, breath hitching when he saw Baekhyun sleeping peacefully, covering his whole body with the beige blanket that Chanyeol gave him many years ago. Chanyeol eyed Baekhyun, sitting at the side of the bed, carefully caressing Baekhyun's soft cheeks. Chanyeol chuckled when he saw Baekhyun's hand cluthing over the phone loosely, probably fell asleep as he was playing with the phone. The only source of light was from the near closed window that had an open curtain, as well as Baekhyun's favourite night light.

Baekhyun whimpered causing Chanyeol to froze, eyes bulging open when he saw Baekhyun's eyes fluttering, close to opening his eyes. 

"C-chanyeol?" Chanyeol stunned, eyes bulging when Baekhyun suddenly rose from his position.

"You come in my dream again," Baekhyun giggled unconsciously, pulling a shock Chanyeol into a deep kiss.

_Dream?_

Chanyeol tried pushing Baekhyun away, he did but Baekhyun just keep on pulling him back, starting to undress himself and Chanyeol as well.

Just in the nick of time Chanyeol found himself moaning, feeling Baekhyun engulfing his whole length inside Baekhyun's mouth. It was warm. Chanyeol hadn't feel this way in so long, he gripped lightly on Baekhyun's silver-pink's hair causing Baekhyun to hummed at the small tug. Chanyeol decided that they will do the talking later because no matter how many times he pushed Baekhyun, the latter just kept on forcing his own self onto Chanyeol. Chanyeol wasn't going to complain because damn did he miss having Baekhyun like this. Baekhyun took Chanyeol out of his mouth, a string of saliva followed, only to lick the vein popping on the side of Chanyeol's dick. Baekhyun stared up at Chanyeol, his left hand trailing to Chanyeol's open mouth and as if understanding what Baekhyun wanted, Chanyeol took three of Baekhyun's fingers inside his own mouth, coating them with saliva. 

Baekhyun hummed approvingly, continuing back to taking Chanyeol as a whole, bobbing his head up and down in a steady pace. He pulled his fingers from Chanyeol's mouth, guiding them to his own rim, desperately inserting two on the first time. Chanyeol groaned at the sight, wishing he can do it himself instead of watching Baekhyun fingering himself but he didn't really mind because having to look at Baekhyun fingering himself desperately whilst sucking Chanyeol was quite a sight. Baekhyun was quick to add the third finger, whining against Chanyeol's cock, frustrated because he can't seem to reach is own spot. Chanyeol felt himself nearing the egde, trying to warn Baekhyun by pulling his mouth off but Baekhyun just shook his head, groaning in disapproval.

"D-daddy, Baekhyunnie fuck," Baekhyun's halted came unnoticed by Chanyeol as he release himself inside Baekhyun's mouth. Chanyeol thought Baekhyun was just trying to swallow him when he saw Baekhyun stopped the movement of his fingers.

Baekhyun's own eyes turning glassy as he swallowed Chanyeol, eyes avoiding Chanyeol's as much as he can as he himself tried to hide the shock he just had seconds ago. Throughout all the years, whenever Baekhyun had a dream of Chanyeol whether it was a good or bad, he had never, never ever heard Chanyeol called out 'daddy' or 'baekhyunnie' in his dream. Never, not even once. It was at that moment Baekhyun realised this wasn't a dream. He wasn't having a wet dream of Chanyeol like he used too. No, this was real. Chanyeol was real, he was really here, right in front of Baekhyun. Baekhyun quickly turned himself around, back facing Chanyeol, getting on his all four, trembling hand guiding Chanyeol still hard cock into him. Baekhyun was trying to keep his act up, not wanting Chanyeol to noticed how Baekhyun was very conscious of what was happening.

He could hear Chanyeol breathe hitched, copying his owned when the cock went passed his tight rim. Baekhyun dropped down to his elbow, desperately trying not to cry out loud, his own heart hammering as if telling him he should stop. He stuffed his face into the pillow, muffling his choked sob as tears finally runned down his wrecked face. Chanyeol moved inside Baekhyun, pulling out ever so slowly, loving the feeling of Baekhyun's wall wrapping around his girth. 

"Baek, turn ugh, turn around. Wanna see you," Chanyeol sounded so sweet, so careful.

Chanyeol sounded like he care.

Baekhyun couln't accept that. He wanted Chanyeol to yell at him, treated him roughly and not like Baekhyun was some kind of China doll. Baekhyun sobbed even harder, letting himself succumb to his sadness when Chanyeol forcefully turned him around, a shock "Baekhyun?" came out of Chanyeol's mouth when he heard saw how ruined Baekhyun look. On a rare occasion, Chanyeol would've thought it was because of him fucking Baekhyun but he barely even did anything and Baekhyun's babbled of 'sorry' and 'i'm sorry' convinced Chanyeol that Baekhyun's beautiful crying face wasn't because of their intercourse. 

"Hey-hey, what's the matter? Hey, open your eyes c'mon," Chanyeol softly caressed Baekhyun, pulling Baekhyun up, swallowing a groan when he felt Baekhyun clenched around him.

Baekhyun shook his head, covering his face with his trembling hands, refusing to face Chanyeol. Baekhyun wanted to look at Chanyeol, he really did, he yearned for it but he was too afraid if he opened his eyes Chanyeol would disappear and leave him. As if Chanyeol could read him, he grabbed Baekhyun' hand away from his face, heart breaking when he saw how tight baekhyun close his eyes, yet despite that, his tears never stopped running down.

"I'm here, Baekhyun. Just open your eyes. I'll be right over here," Chanyeol tried coaxing Baekhyun only for the latter to whimpered a broken no.

"Yo-you'll disappear if I do," baekhyun finally let out his sobbed out loud.

"No-"

"Don't lie. Please. You left before. I-I know I hurt you but you left and and you sl-ap me. It hurts. I can still feel it. My heart hurts," Chanyeol's owned eyes teared up as he listened to Baekhyun pouring his words out. Something that Baekhyun had never down before. 

"I-I call, I call you so many times but you aren't there and Jongin told me you're doing fine and I don't want to be selfish but still. There were times I hope that you're hurting as much as I do because missing you all these years hurts so much. Everyday is just so hard, without you was hard. I'm not fine at all. I tried to be but in all honesty I can't.No matter how hard I try," Chanyeol wiped his owned tears only for the new one to fall again and again.

"- I'm I'm sorry, I really am. I love you. I do. I lied when I say I didn't because I was afraid. I was so so afraid. I know it was stupid and I shouldn't be making reasons or explaining all of these to you a-nd you shouldn't even hug me like this because I hurt you so bad. God, Chanyeol, I broke you yet I'm still selfish on wanting you to still love me. I'm so sorry I hurt you- I didn't mean too, I'm so sorry, I really am-," Chanyeol shushed baekhyun, pulling him in a tight embrace as both of them cried.

Chanyeol knew Baekhyun was having a hard time, even harder them him. Of course he knew, Jongdae told him everything about Baekhyun for the past 9 years. Chanyeol was too ego to seek for Baekhyun. Either that or he was trying to protect his own broken heart. He did tried countless time to mend what happened between them but he was mad at Baekhyun. He really was. He tried forgetting Baekhyun but Jongdae make it harder for him when he would text Chanyeol whenever Baekhyun cried. He ignored them all of course. It was when he found the house key laying on his table, with an older looking Kyungsoo smiling, nodding at him with a glassy eyes he decided to go and faced Baekhyun.

"Look at me Baekhyun. I'm not going anywhere. I swear. Just open your eyes." Baekhyun slowly complied to the order, his lips trembling when he finally took in an Chanyeol's appereance.

Baekhyun tried closing his eyes back, afraid of the way Chanyeol was looking at him lovingly. 

"Hey- no, c'mon. I'm right here." Chanyeol smiled, wiping Baekhyun's tears after he wiped his own as well.

"Sorry- I'm- I - love you I'm so-"

"No more sorry. I know Baekhyun. I know. I love you too. I still do. We're okay now. Sorry I took this long." Chanyeol pulled a crying Baekhyun into his embrace, hissing when he felt his now slowly softening dick inside of Baekhyun.

Baekhyun snifled when he pulled away from Chanyeol, grabbing the nearest cloth he found and blew his runny nose. Chanyeol eyed him, laughing lightly, arms loosely wrapped around Baekhyun. Baekhyun hissed when he felt Chanyeol moved inside him, blushing madly as he looked up at Chanyeol.

"S-orry-,"

"I told you to stop saying that, it's okay, let's sleep yeah. You're always tired after a series of crying," Chanyeol pulled himself out, only for Baekhyun to stop him.

Chanyeol looked at a blushing Baekhyun questioningly "C-can I have your-uhm-nevermind, let's sleep,"

"No. stop what is it?" 

"Iwanttofeelyouinmewhenwesleep"

"Sorry what?"

"I.. want you in me... "

"Oh. Like now? But aren't you tired?" Baekhyun shook his head frustratedly, huffing as his face turning so red.

"Sleep,"

"Baekhyun, you have to speak up. I don't understand,"

"I want you in me when I'm sleeping," Baekhyun blurted out frustratedly.

"Oh."

"Ugh, nevermind. This is so embarassing," Baekhyun got off of Chanyeol's leg, quickly burying himself in the blanket. Too ashamed of what he had said.

Chanyeol watched Baekhyun shuffling under the blanket and fuck if Chanyeol wasn't hard before he was definitely hard now. He scooted closer to Baekhyun under the blanket, covering both of them. Baekhyun's back was facing Chanyeol and Chanyeol wasted no time inserting his girth in one second into Baekhyun, both groaning in pleasure at the feeling. Baekhyun thought it was a good idea to turn around facing Chanyeol with Chanyeol's whole length inside him. 

"If you keep on moving, I wont be able to stop myself Baekhyunnie," Chanyeol warned, a playful stern look plastered on his face. 

Baekhyun only giggled, snuggling closer to Chanyeol, sighing in content when he smell the familiar cologne on Chanyeol's body. Chanyeol softly hummed, lulling both of them to sleep.

"Chanyeol,"

"hm?"

"You're gonna be here when I wake up tomorrow right?" Chanyeol could hear the uncertainty in Baekhyun's voice.

"I'll be here tomorrow, the day after, after that and forever. Never leaving you again. Promise," Chanyeol kissed the top of Baekhyun's head fondly.

Baekhyun hummed, smiling softly, though he was a bit wary about Chanyeol leaving in the future, as long as Chanyeol was here, Baekhyun was going to cherish him and every single moment they were going to have after this.

**Author's Note:**

> The song 'Still' that was mention in this is by Jeff Bernat! Go have a listen if you haven't. I listened to the song when I was writing the fic. It gave me soo many feels ugh.
> 
> Thank you for reading and if you have any comments or questions feel free to ask. I also recently open a writing acc on twitter (i used my old unused acc) so you can find me at @/hunetits if you want to.


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